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Wednesday, June 2, 2021

Lost Pregnancy.. (Old private post)

June 02, 2021
I finally have the courage to post this. I wrote this in July of 2019. My reason for posting is not for pity but to create awareness to miscarriages. They are quite common but so taboo. I remember looking into baby names and being so excited. As I read this post almost 2 years later, I am so grateful for our two kids. Life is definitely a rollercoaster. If you ever need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. 


I don't know if I will ever make this post public but thought I wanted to write down my feelings somewhere. Our due date was estimated/ predicted to be Feb 2020. I was so excited and took a pregnancy test right after my first day of missed period. It turned out positive and I didn't know what to do or how to contain my happiness. I went straight to Pinterest to find a cute way to tell my husband. I settled to use  my felt letter board and wrote out the words "One more to Adore."

He finally came home and when he went to his office, I followed behind him. Waiting to see his expression. He was so thrilled and we gave each other a kiss and hugged each other.

A couple weeks passed and everything was going smoothly, until it didn't. It started off as light pink spotting and gradually turned brownish. The next day it became a brighter red and brown again. Luckily, I had my appointment already scheduled for that day and so I told the doctor what was going on. She told me it was still to early to know for sure so she ordered two blood tests. One for that day, and the next one a couple days later. This was to measure the HCG level.

The weekend came and the bleeding continued. Cramping was present and I knew it was over.